I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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