I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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