So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
