I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
