I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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