Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
