i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize