I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
