Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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