I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
