theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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