im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
