i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
