what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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