Only a mothe r could love this liver
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
