Just cropdusted the office
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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