This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
