In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
