I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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