I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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