I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Gay?
German.
Pity.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'm really busy with my period
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