Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
