the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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