i permit you to call me
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
