I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
