i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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