I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
