i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
