HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
