It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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