Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
