First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
