He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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