i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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