That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
