Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
