why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
i've created a new STD.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
