its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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