He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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