well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
