Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
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