i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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