Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
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