I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
