Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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