the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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