Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I stole a fireplace last night.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
