I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
