you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize