the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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