I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
