new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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