i permit you to call me
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize