hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
