oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
