Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
