Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
